You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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