hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize