yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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