You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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