Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
