I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
