after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
