Im at strip club and am horny
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
