oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
