just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
