I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize