I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize