I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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