You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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