Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
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i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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