I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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