ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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