I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
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This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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