Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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