Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
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Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I need to calm my uterus...
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