pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
