It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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