Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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