It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
