We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
