My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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