OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize