problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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