I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
