Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
