If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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