Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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