Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
