I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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