when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
