whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
