Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
