turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
