Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize