At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
