so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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