After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
