you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
