The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
