i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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how do you play pong handcuffed?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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