Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
