So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
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Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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