Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
