Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
