I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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