WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
