Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
