4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
