He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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