I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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