Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
