hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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