WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
