yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
